Faith at Home Does Not Mean Faith Alone
When you hear the phrase ‘Faith at Home’, what does it make you think? If you’re a church leader, do you shrug it off as irrelevant? After all, it is the opposite of ‘gathered church’, isn’t it?
Over the past decade, ‘faith at home’ has grown as a concept but it didn’t come from parents; it came from church leaders - specifically, children’s workers. Frustrated that children’s spiritual development was being whittled down to one hour (or less) on a Sunday morning, children’s ministers have been trying to encourage parents to play an active role in their children’s spirituality every day of the week.
I am sure better minds than I can give a detailed analysis as to why the trend is growing… I imagine the decline of church attendance combined with the decline of Christian habits in mainstream media, literature and schools have something to do with it. Throw a pandemic into the mix and suddenly ‘Faith at Home’ is no longer a concept but a very present reality. With mixed reactions.
To someone like me, who creates faith-based resources for families, it’s an exciting opportunity. Simultaneously, for me as a parent, it’s utterly, utterly overwhelming.
I know that I shouldn’t outsource my children’s spiritual development to that one hour on a Sunday morning. I know it’s not enough; not enough time to teach everything about Jesus and the Bible and spiritual disciplines and Christian values while at the same time giving them space to ask questions and develop their own personal relationship with God - fervently praying they even want to have a relationship with God.
I know this is also my responsibility as well as nurturing their spiritual gifts, equipping them with the armour of God, teaching them to pray and study the Bible and hear God’s voice and be generous and practice kindness and share their faith with friends and prepare them for relationships etc. etc. etc. (Oh, and by the way, make sure you don’t try too hard or you might put them off completely or be accused of forcing them to follow your faith). All this on top of keeping them well fed, warm and - reasonably - clean.
“Sometimes it's just too much. The concept of 'Faith at home' translates as ‘It's all on you. Don't mess it up.” I'm sure it's not meant to be like that.'
It is no surprise that parents get utterly overwhelmed by the irrational fear that their children’s eternity and spiritual development rests 99% on their shoulders.
Sometimes, it’s just too much.
As a culture, we are highly individualised and independent. We don’t function in communities nearly so much as other cultures or even as much as we used to in the UK. So the concept of ‘Faith at Home’, when received by someone living in an culture like ours, translates as “It’s all on you. Don’t mess up.”
It’s terrifying.
I’m sure it’s not supposed to be. On their own, words like faith and family and home are lovely, comforting words that ought to spark joy. Put them together and it’s a bubbling cauldron of emotion. How can we dial down the pressure and bring back the joy, not the fear?
I am passionate about faith and children. I am inspired by Psalm 78:5-7 that tells us to teach the next generation and be so prepared that even those who are not yet born will know God. I love that the greatest commandment to love the Lord our God (Deuteronomy 6:4-9) is firmly planted to grow within families.
“Maybe we don’t have to do this alone after all.”
I also believe that the Biblical view of family does not mean that the responsibility falls on just one person, be it Mum, foster Dad or Grandparent. I think that’s an assumption we take on ourselves because of our individualised culture.
As parents, we sometimes forget that we are a part of a body, a community of believers both locally and globally. In fact, church communities are one of the few places where we can still experience this. Sometimes we do it well, sometimes not, but that is the nature of community.
Our family recently joined a new church. We visited lots of local churches, but we stayed at this one because of the value they actively place on community. They don’t claim to be perfect but they prioritise being together. My heartfelt response was, “Maybe we don’t have to do this alone, after all.”
The trend of ‘faith at home’ is a good one but it can become very one-sided when it’s considered separate from the rest of Church. Instead, what if it’s as embedded in church life as much as the commandment to Love the Lord your God is embedded in family life?
How can your church support grown-ups to nurture children’s faith in the home?
First, recognise people are already doing it and give them praise. When a grown-up lives a life of faith in Jesus, they are already modelling that to their children - even if it’s in small ways - so why not tell them ‘well done!’ from time to time?
Second, encourage adults to open up their walks with Jesus for their children to see – whether it be praying out loud, or sharing their testimony, or letting their child watch them during a quiet time. The Parenting for Faith course calls these ‘windows into faith’.
Third, show that children are your priority too. Recognise that kids are not just adults in waiting, watching at the side-lines, the church of the future. Instead, children are the very present, active, faith-filled, God-connected children of the church today. Their prayers are just as effective, their needs just as important and their value just as priceless.
Finally, be practical and resource your parents and carers. I am not the only organisation in the UK with a heart for children and their grown-ups – see also Parenting for Faith, Faith in Kids and GodVenture – but I am local to you. I live in Sheffield and would love to speak to your church and your children to share my resources and experience with you.
Over the summer, I plan to run practical workshops to make it easy for parents to develop their own ‘faith at home’ journeys. Can I run one for your church too?
Joanne Gilchrist has lived in Sheffield for 9 years, ever since her husband took a role at The Oakes Holiday Centre. She has three fabulous daughters who inspired her to create the God for Kids app and write the Animals of Eden Valley books. She founded the charity Ruach Resources in 2019, has a Graduate Certificate in Theology, Ministry and Mission and loves singing, cross stitch and Christmas!